The weather has just been exceptional. Yesterday was a good day. Went to Shawnee Mission Park and met Pat and Jim for "picnic". We met at the boat dock and had a nice view of the lake. Not very many people. Came home and read in the afternoon and then went for a 2 mile walk. I am still getting dizzy when I get up after radiation and they are not sure why---may be it is because these very nice young women put their arms around me and help me back to the dressing room. Doc is concerned about the sores in my mouth caused by the chemo---not all that bad but certainly would prefer not to have a sore mouth. Watched the debate last night.
Woke up tired this morning but starting to perk up. Nothing remarkable going on and that is just fine with me. I am tired this morning. So far, it has not been unrelenting tiredness so it is not like having the flu it just comes and goes so you never know---I might perk up for awhile and then it feels like I am wading through mud and I have to sit down. At this time I am wading through mud---but ten minutes from now it may change. A friend of mine was asked the other day "you seem to be happy all the time---is that an act?" and Pat said "no, I am either in a good place or assume I will be in a little while". That is a good faith to live by.
I talked to Don, my friend who taught me how to shoot skeet, he just found out he has lung cancer. It does seem a little unrelenting right now---a book I read many years ago "The Hand Book To Higher Consciousness" discusses how to re-focus negative thoughts with positive ones a real simple way to do that is to review your gratitude list, focus on others and get the hell out of self. When you are all wrapup in yourself you are in the worlds smallest package.
Just got back from the Radiologist. He sent me to KUMed---seems as if the chemo is causing ulcers in my mouth and he wants them to stop the chemo for a day or so. I am also having some equilibrium problems and dont know whether it is from the treatment or something else--so if you see me staggering around it is not from the booze.
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See..there you go again. This writing of yours is so awesome. Like the last bit...the smallest package bit. How profound. I think its profound anyway. And its not like I didn't know that...just the way you said it. Have you read "the good earth?" I think that is the name of it. Of course...God.... teaches us to "count our blessings." wonder why? duh. I read an account of a woman who traveled to "meet" with Sister Theresa. She waited in line for hours and when her turn finally came...she poured out her long list of concerns/worries to sister and then anxiously waited her advice on how to deal with her issues. Sister calmly told her to spend an hour in prayer every day..."thanking God" for what she had. Its definitly something that must be practised. Consistantly. But the whole biblical theme centers on the "giving" aspect. Like you said. The thinking of others. "tis better to give than to receive" Anyway...you hang in there....walking through mud is good exercise? you have no idea the effect you have on people. yfpw....i love you
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